Mother's Day in the new House

We moved to St George the last day of April...Rich was working up North and was only able to unload the truck before he had to return to the job and he had no time that entire summer to get home...it was a long summer in a new place not knowing anyone, having left my great friends and support system in Spanish Fork...I want to say here how grateful I am to my good neighbor Nannette Buck for her kindness and welcoming heart that first summer...she made things so much more managable by being an instant friend to me and to my children. Thanks Nannette.

I have many stories of our time here in St George..many stories...I think I am stories...but I want to share the Mother's Day experience with you this time...I am sure many more will flow first...this blog has no rhyme or reason...one day maybe I can put them in order...but for now...writing them down, well that will have to be enough.



Mother's Day...2002





Well...does anyone really love Mother's Day...I love the cards and the kindness my children show me...I love that everyday of the year...I do not like the guilt I usually start to feel because I cannot weave my own fabric from the sheep I raised, sew my own clothes from said fabric, garden for the entire family and can my vast harvest for the winter meals I will make daily out of whole wheat and veggies that still taste like a gourmet chef created them, all this, while working full time and completing my master's degree while single handedly supporting my 12 children all successful students, athletes and spiritual giants in the myriad of activities and projects...So...Mother's Day 2002 was, a mother's day...

I had a goal, to empty all the boxes before I could use my jetted bathtub. The Saturday night into the wee hours of the morning on Sunday I worked on the last of the boxes and finally met my goal for being unpacked completely. The past weeks had been a long list of messes to be cleaned broken things to be repaired and furniture needing assembled. So...Mother's day morning went into mother's day night and evening, the kids were great, but I got no call from my husband, and the talks at church were those of sainted mothers with gosemer wings, and I was surely not her this year, my daughter was terriblly unhappy with having moved, my son Ryan was still up north staying with friends so he could finish his year in school, Branden was living away from home, Sean did his best to cheer me, and I had adorable hugs kisses and presents from Ki Ki and Christian, but it was still a tough day for me, a lonely day, in a new place without the people who had become my family...Gotta admit, I cried, alot.

After everyone was down to bed, I decided to have that bath...I had to scrub it clean to use it, and did, I let the tub fill...it was scalding hot, I remember, and I had to wait for the water to cool. Finally it was a temperature that I could stand, and I went to the just unpacked stereo and searched the channels for some classical music...to relax my body, mind and soul...there was no classical music to be found...I clearly remember slamming the stereo off, and muttering that classical music was a small thing to want on such a sad hard lonely day...I abandoned the idea of music, and dropped my robe and sunk into the hot deep water, the lights were low, candles lit...relaxation the goal...I did feel better, some of the last several weeks tension started to ease from my shoulders, I pushed the jets on and got lost in te hot water....after soaking for several minutes, I was distracted by the sound of bells, the tinkling of bells I kept thinking I heard bells far away, I ignored them for awhile...but my curiousity got the best of me and I turned off the jets with the thought that I would be able to identify the source of the high sweet bell sound. As I shut off the jets, I realized that the entire room was filled with the sounds of mozart...from the stereo was playing the most beautiful music...the stereo I had slammed off, having left the dial on static...

I was alarmed...I grabbed my robe and went to check the doors I was sure I had locked them...they all were securely locked, as I had thought. I started to panic, I illuminated the room, but nobody was there...I quickly went out and asked Sean if he had come in the room or seen anyone...he looked at me like I was nuts and told me no...I went back into my bedroom, I was looking in the closet when the most peaceful feeling came over me...there was nothing to fear, there was nobody there to harm me, whoever was there, from whatever place, that music was a gift, the very gift I had asked for...and even today, I wonder from time to time who gave me the gift, Debbie, my Grandma...Jamie...I know it came from the other side that gift of Mozart that night long ago, a gift I needed to know I was not alone at all, and that some of my dearest friends and supporters were still with me, and were aware of my needs.